allstar

In my Gram's kitchen,

behind the table,

there is a butter barrel.

One of those big wooden ones you would use in the 1950's.

5 summers ago,

my brother made butter in that barrel.

hope is a messy thing.

it destroys all forms of happiness.

but it lifts you up in your worst nightmares.

I wish I could say hope is for everyone.

but it isn't.

in time,

we evolved into 

racist,

i googled what love meant today.

i don't think anyone loves me.

wikipedia said that 

The girl always sits right there at Table 5. 

I am the boy who makes food without the order.

I have always been able to do it.

Know what people need to eat, I mean.

Sunny, for instance, lost his mother.

I have a secret.

I am not going to tell you my secret.

I have not told anyone my secret.

I will not tell anyone my secret.

I want to tell someone about my secret.

the world is ending.

I don't think i'm sad.

or mad.

or anything.

i'm just here.

existing.

in an ending world.

with the love of my life next to me.

with our child growing inside of me.