Siyona.S.stay

I found this vignette in a notebook from summer 2024 and thought it was worth sharing. I have no memory of writing it, but I'm glad I did. 

I worry a lot about what I am. I worry about the shape I am, the space I take up, and the way I do it.

Just breathe, that’s what I’m told
In and out
You’re feeling anxious? Just breathe.
You can’t sleep? Just breathe. 
As I breathe in and out, and in and out 
I think about the time where I didn’t want to breathe

Sit at the counter with your head down in your 

phone, and your legs crossed. The dogs bark

as strangers walk up the driveway. Who are

my family has claimed thanksgiving.

it's our holiday, you know,

the one we do the best,

and so it must be ours. we're joking,

mostly, but it's true we do thanksgiving very well

probably overdo but it's better

tall

and ghostly pale

as if he were drenched in sheer silk 

was what I saw when he left the room, 

leaving behind footprints of moonlight in the halls. 

cool as a winter breeze