star

5 years ago I was in 5th grade 

My "friend" told me I had a weird laugh 

I was too scared to laugh after that 

I’ll share a moment with you.

The day is lowering into eve 
tucked in by our February smoke 
the color of whiskey and gravel, 
and the yard is reminiscent 
like a memory of a memory. 

It's that time of the month again

Anger fills my heart

Sadness fights for power

My eyes fall close

Yet I can't sleep

The pain in my abdomen

Bursting full like a bruise

Waking up

Bloody

The more you became a memory, the more I'd fall in love.

I still remember that night.

But I remember before, even more. I dreamed of you at night

I wrapped myself in your arms by day.

you want it all, until you have it all

and then you just want to run away.

and i did. i broke my own heart.

i had him wrapped around my finger,

sidelong glances across the candlelit room

It's too hot

and it's too humid

and I'm awake too early

and I miss my home

My bunk bed is lopsided

and we let mosquitoes into the cabin

and the showers are dirty

and my socks are wet