Expectations

There are

So many things.

So many things

So many people

Want from me.

Is it too much to ask for a break?

Am I allowed to

Have a few seconds to myself or

Am I just a machine?

Am I supposed to

Just crank out

Everything?

The expectations

Crash down on me.

Home

School

Sports

Friends

Drama

Collide in my head.

How am I expected to keep everything straight?

There's so much.

Too much.

I want to be me

But I feel like a character in my own life.

A storybook where

My friends are the secondary characters.

I think in third person - 

Isn't that weird?

I think she 

Not I

Like I am narrating myself.

I let the workload

Shape me.

I let myself work as hard as possible

Because I believe that

If I don't do my best

Who am I then?

I am trying to find myself

Amidst this mess that is my life.

It's hard 

But

These expectations

Aren't going away.

And so I learn

To evolve

To fit what people need

To get everything done

And

To make it through.