Expectations

There are

So many things.

So many things

So many people

Want from me.

Is it too much to ask for a break?

Am I allowed to

Have a few seconds to myself or

Am I just a machine?

Am I supposed to

Just crank out

Everything?


The expectations

Crash down on me.

Home

School

Sports

Friends

Drama

Collide in my head.

How am I expected to keep everything straight?

There's so much.

Too much.

 

I want to be me

But I feel like a character in my own life.

A storybook where

My friends are the secondary characters.

I think in third person - 

Isn't that weird?

I think she 

Not I

Like I am narrating myself.

 

I let the workload

Shape me.

I let myself work as hard as possible

Because I believe that

If I don't do my best

Who am I then?

 

I am trying to find myself

Amidst this mess that is my life.

It's hard 

But

These expectations

Aren't going away.

And so I learn

To evolve

To fit what people need

To get everything done

And

To make it through.

QueenBee

VT

13 years old

More by QueenBee

  • Storm

    I love this feeling.

    The wind on my face,

    The fire under my skin

    Doused by the rain.

    The ominous clouds overhead.

    My natural state it what the storm is,

    Right now.

    It's just how I've always been.

  • I don't

    I don't

    Open at your words

    Your touch

    I don't

    Listen to

    Anyone anymore.

    I am completely in my head.

    I know we don't have time for this mess.

    I do it anyway.

    I don't

    Pay attention.

  • "I don't care"

    "I don't care," I say.

    Don't care.

    Don't.

    Do not.

    Don't want to.

    Can't.

    Scared to.

    You look at me.

    Ask, "What about your friends?"

    Yes, what about them, self?