Poetry

You are all that I think about

Every day, every hour, every minute 

I can't get you out of my mind

You even show up in my dreams now

How will I ever move on when you are all that I think about

He flew into my life on a Tuesday. 

All feathers, no job. 

Smelled like breadcrumbs and bad decisions. 

He coo’d at me like I was the last French fry in a drive-thru bag. 

And I believed him. 

I’m tired.

Not “need-a-nap” tired.

Not “school-was-long” tired.

I’m tired in a way that reaches all the way down to my ribs.

I don’t sleep much anymore.

I stay up listening.

Not for music.

I'm stuck

Stuck in place

Stuck in time

I'm stuck in the memories of us

Will I ever be unstuck?

Probably not

I'm stuck missing you from afar

Will i ever move on?

No

I'm stuck

I miss you

Your contagious laugh

Your beautiful smile 

Your eyes that I could stare into forever

I miss you

Your arms and how warm and safe I felt in them

Your voice 

Your hugs and kisses

I miss you

There's not a day that goes by

Where I don't miss you

Why did you have to leave?

I still love you

Always and forever

You broke my heart

You took my spark

Deleted

Wisps of smoke flick through the sky

a quickly fading whisper of what was

of what used to be

but not anymore.

Faintly glowing embers

tokens of the past

they fade away too soon

There's a lilac bush

or a tree

or a bush-tree

none of us can actually tell

and its name is Bob

or Barbara

or Bobara

none of us can decide

and it is a gender-fluid lilac bush/tree/bush-tree

I'm not going to lie,

I don't care -

I never really did.

I didn't last year

And I still don't.

But.

It does give me that

Teeny

Tiny

Itty

Bitty

Little

Bit of

Sometimes you just can't.

The hardest part is accepting it,

At least for me.

Accepting that you won't be able to

Carry every load

Be every version of yourself

Always be the best

Meet every expectation.

i am a dreamer

with plans for something big

something great

i have a purpose

i strive to live for 

and passion