Poetry

slide the depths of your voice from the dust-lungs of your body,

spirit fluttering iridescent ivory feathers into the ianthine arteries of your heart.

breathe and you etch a cross onto your subconscious, glowing like

My world is different 

A new place 

A new name

Yet still just the same as last year

Still the same crushing sorrow

Still the same grief as last year

does anybody else get that feeling deep in their chest, sharp like it's begging to come out but also soft as in fire soft, embers in a hole in the ground?

Everyone is so excited for summer

and I don't dislike them for it

but I don't understand why.

The heat is overwhelming

temperatures of 80, even 90 this year

and it's only barely June;

I am falling down

further

and further

faster

and faster

the school year is almost over-

hooray, summer-

but all of a sudden

reality crashes down on me

as powerful as a tidal wave

I will be the court jester

But when you remind me of my past

My lungs refuse to laugh

Now I fall quiet

A sad smile dances on my lips

As I glance at you with pain in my eyes

I step off the sweaty bus

And onto hard pavement.

It's not raining hard

But it's not not raining hard, either.

My purple Converse

Step around puddles

On the sidewalk.

what do I do when the leaves are dead?

what do I do with this road ahead?

i'll walk the stretch, and clear the way,

but my feet won't move today. 

what do I do when these trees are surreal?

Our end is bittersweet,

some look down in defeat, 

while others raise their fists in victory.

Some of us may cry when we wave goodbye, 

some may smile with a twinkle in their eye.

Riding down the winding mountain trail
In an uncomfortable school bus

Listening to Stevie Wonder 
While laughing as we fall out of our seats
From the impact of each pothole

I cried in silence again.

The tears streamed down

And made puddles on my carpet floor

I'm lying on again.

I watched the minutes change again.

There has been something

Building in my throat

For the last few months.

Burning

Needing to say it,

I need to say it,

I can't go forever

Not saying it.

I don't know

What it is

Exactly.