Poetry

Last night a little girl came to me in a dream 

She had a head of wild blonde curls 

that looked more like 

a tangle of cat grass blowing in the wind 

Altruism is often anglicized,

prophesied, to be proof of someone's halo.

To put someone else's needs before yourself, 

must be proof of someone's moral health.

Honey bees nip at my knees,

which causes me to freeze.

Oh, why me?

You could have chosen anyone, little bee.

I still think about the way things were back then

With the unpredictable fear of tomorrow

It still haunts me

Like a ghost I can never rid myself of

I wish I had done more

I know I could’ve done more

Pain is different for everyone

For some you can tell when they're hurting, and others hide it so no one can see...

Sometimes you can see pain on the outside whether it's a scrape or cut...

But...

What can I do to make this stay? 
To make all the moments, 
Where we were infinite last forever. 

To keep the good days for the future, 
And carry the bad along with my past. 

Anxiety...

It follows you around like your shadow, you don't always see it, but you know it's there...

Anxiety...

Your heart racing, hands shaking, sweating like crazy, and it gets harder and harder to breathe...

In octobers soft and cool air

Leaves fall down without a care

Orange and red cover the ground

Yet the summer is not to be found

A cold breeze begins to blow

I see the text the next morning,

After she has already passed. 

I can't believe it's happened—

Life goes by so fast. 

She didn't mean a lot to me,

every second I think

this is the oldest I have ever been

this is the youngest I will ever be again

this second is gone                      this one too

May this envy be contagious?

These naughts of mine that always rise come as dreams in cages?

I might recon that is so,

Yesterday as I sat down it started then to snow.

What machinations of man and machine rush toward us,

thundering nearer every moment at lightspeed?

Creases in our folds become smoothed out,