I look in the mirror
Like any girl my age
But I'm repulsed in horror
At what is on stage
I look at those numbers
Wait for them to go down again
114, 113, 112
But it's never enough
I'm getting thinner
But I still feel fat
So I'll skip another day
111, 110, 109
I'm going to lose my mind
I'll lose track of days
114
Will stare back
With a harmful and shameful gaze
So I'll starve another day
Anything to be "hot"
112, 111, 113
I wish for once this was all a dream
I've recently found myself back in my shell
Pretending to be someone I'm not
And I think I know why.
I've pulled back from people
Only interacting with animals and strangers online
I'm opening my phone
To nothing
No messages, no emails, no missed calls,
All I'm getting is radio silence
The sinking feeling in my heart returned
The one where you know something is wrong
Stinging my eyes
The tears come
Pouring down
Relentlessly.
Still breathing
Still warm
Yet dead
To me
And me alone.
Grief floods me
Again
I'm drowning
Comments
Seriously not a good idea
A bit too relatable haha...maybe not a good idea but definitely something it's easy to get trapped in.
Bee, I know so many who deal with thoughts like that, and I've watched them all fall down a really, really scary path that is not worth it in the end, ever. I know it's so, so, sooo easy to fall into that way of thinking, but I promise your health is more important than fitting societies very screwed up view on appearance. If you ever need anyone to talk to or if you need advice or literally anything, I know we're technically strangers but you can always message me!! I promise you your health is SO much more important than trying to mold yourself into something society has wrongfully put upon us. And, please never hesitate to reach out if you ever need someone to talk to!
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