Writing

Noise

Warming up

Keys

Fingerings

Chatter

Laughter

The chorale

Stopping

Starting

"Again"

"I know you can do better than that"

Serious but

You also love it

Cornered

I put my hands up

Like you taught me

Only now

You're the one attacking

"Helping" because

You "just want me to feel better"

And I braced for impact

I am tormented by slight movements

even silence is hurting me

reality seems to be strobing

or something like it -

I've yet to learn how to explain these moments to others,

even myself.

It's not normal,

now I sit in the orchard

Apples, pears, and plums filter the sunlight

it shines through in thread-width rays

pure and packed with heat

unmeasurable in inches

unmeasurable in its own way

I have always been fascinated by space and all it encompasses. I don't know exactly why, maybe because of the unknown and wanting to understand it, thus making it known.

How can it be that I cannot exist without and with her

Sometimes I like to imagine we have the same eyes, brown with glints of green and yellow, like a sprouting garden in spring.