Writing

I wonder what I look like

In your eyes.

What I look like

In your dreams. 

Maybe I'll be gone,

But please carry on. 

Don't be shadowed in the dark,

How can you not see,

The true feelings deep in me.

The hard ache of hiding,

It's still not subsiding.

Lying to myself 

"Just put the thoughts on a shelf."

Please stop pretending that you can't tell,

They say it will pass

They say I'll feel better 

"Time will fix it"

"Just put her pictures in a shredder"

But it's not that easy

To just "move on"

I don't think you ever really can

I rule a kingdom incompetent of content,

My brain may be the bearer of my walls,

The encapsulated fluency of marrow in this bone,

These rugged feet yearn strolling farther in the night;

I'm not responsible

And yet I have responsibilities

I'm not my siblings parent

And yet I am expected to parent them

I'm not that smart

And yet I must be right

I'm not mature

You and me have something only I can see,

I have realized it's slowly killing me.

I love you can't you tell?

you're the one that I fell for,

but when I did,