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i want to be you.
 i want to unzip myself
 and step into your skin.
 wear your smile like armor.
 speak with your voice
 and not feel it shake.

i just want to be someone’s first choice.
 but i never am.
 i’m the second thought.
 the backup plan.
 the friend you drop when someone better walks in.

why?

it’s a small world,
 you say—
 after seeing me
 for the first time in years.

i thought you’d ask,
 what happened?
 what’s wrong with you?

my hands curl around the flimsy plastic folds of my shopping bag

as I walk home through streets tight and winding. 

it is a sunny morning, 

crisp and clear,

and magic. 

Failure.

It's not a familiar word to me

Because I am never failing unless I know

I haven't tried hard enough

Been my best

But that was failure.

Not by me,

By them,

we are still here

through hate and violence

through trial and tribulation

through it all

from right to wrong

we've all made decisions

but we are still here

forever.