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My legs were no longer in my command–I could not move;

Love ethereally reached my soul, seducing life through.

Every passing night, when the stars daintily dance,

The month

(ish) 

of time between Thanksgiving

and December 25th

is 

undeniably

the best season.

Everyone is joyous

despite their

close-to-frostbitten noses

here in Vermont.

& walk around soho with maxi skirts & matcha & annotate the bell jar in velvet blue ink on curling pages with garamond font & wear my hair long down my back & dark sunglasses pulled up on my head & bangle bracelets that sli

I found this vignette in a notebook from summer 2024 and thought it was worth sharing. I have no memory of writing it, but I'm glad I did. 

I worry a lot about what I am. I worry about the shape I am, the space I take up, and the way I do it.

Just breathe, that’s what I’m told
In and out
You’re feeling anxious? Just breathe.
You can’t sleep? Just breathe. 
As I breathe in and out, and in and out 
I think about the time where I didn’t want to breathe