Fainting Goat

Darkness seeps in.

Consuming and destroying.

Leaving nothing behind.

Just an empty shell.

My empty shell.

I feel nothing.

It's as though I am sleepwalking.

It's as though I am already dead.

Humbly giving everything and taking nothing.

Under foot, in the way, but never trying to be.

Never good enough for myself, no matter what.

I am floating.

Not anchored in my body.

I cannot focus.

I cannot think.

They do not see how distant I am.

We're supposed to be watching a video, but I can't.

My eyes don't see.

My ears don't hear.

Shut up.

Shut up.

The voices get louder.

A million people that do not exist outside of my head.

They tell me things.

They make me do things.

I have no way to fight them.

I can’t get a single word in.

A million words fight to break free.

So many, that I cannot speak.

I try and I try, but it doesn’t matter.

I am mute, my voice lost to this world.

I have so many things to say.

So many emotions to convey.

When I was young,

I loved fairytales.

I loved that no matter what,

There was always a happy ending.

But as I got older,

I realized something:

Happy endings don’t exist for everyone.

Everyone dies.