Fainting Goat

Hand over hand.

One foot, then the other.

Climbing this mountain

Of sorrow and grief.

Desperately trying

To reach its snowy peaks.

You start at the bottom.

Then work your way up.

Darkness seeps in.

Consuming and destroying.

Leaving nothing behind.

Just an empty shell.

My empty shell.

I feel nothing.

It's as though I am sleepwalking.

It's as though I am already dead.

Humbly giving everything and taking nothing.

Under foot, in the way, but never trying to be.

Never good enough for myself, no matter what.

I am floating.

Not anchored in my body.

I cannot focus.

I cannot think.

They do not see how distant I am.

We're supposed to be watching a video, but I can't.

My eyes don't see.

My ears don't hear.

Shut up.

Shut up.

The voices get louder.

A million people that do not exist outside of my head.

They tell me things.

They make me do things.

I have no way to fight them.

I can’t get a single word in.

A million words fight to break free.

So many, that I cannot speak.

I try and I try, but it doesn’t matter.

I am mute, my voice lost to this world.

I have so many things to say.

So many emotions to convey.