Fainting Goat

Revolution One:

Fear is a tip-of-the-tongue sensation- 

“What-ifs” so broad you can taste them

but never fully articulate them.

This year,

I want my family and friends to be safe.

I want them to be happier than they ever imagined.

I want to see smiles that shine brighter than the sun.

I want to hear laughter that last forever.

This year,

cover my eyes so i can see you better 

my night shadow, cloaked in delicious mystery, 

your hand, forbidden fruit, holding mine 

under the waning light of a summer's day. 

i wish 

I miss him

Nothing reminds me of him because I don't allow it to

Both of those things can be true at once

He would be proud of me, probably, but I guess he would probably also have a lot to say

I was 11—just a little girl playing on the swing set. I saw the picnic table, a white mother and her daughter were walking toward me. They were getting closer and closer as their baritone steps bared down on the rough pavement.

The screen stares back at me: 

9:30 pm, 

an unfinished assignment, 

a deadline due. 

My weary chest heaves a heavy breath.