Calico Frost

Everyone is so excited for summer

and I don't dislike them for it

but I don't understand why.

The heat is overwhelming

temperatures of 80, even 90 this year

and it's only barely June;

I am falling down

further

and further

faster

and faster

the school year is almost over-

hooray, summer-

but all of a sudden

reality crashes down on me

as powerful as a tidal wave

Warm,

toasty,

happy in my

cocoon of solitude

where no one bothers me

while I read and snuggle by myself,

wrapped up in blankets

hidden in pillows

engulfed in stuffed animals.

Peace,

Some of us

will push and push to get closer

others

will nudge gently and give up

but I don't try to do either

I want to wait patiently until you let me in

closer

before you close up

Each poem

each message

deleted

one

after

the other.

The words don't flow freely anymore,

now slow and sticky

not flying out my fingers in their regular way.

I can't make it work

The day I lost my youth completely

the sweet scent of childhood

swept away by the sharp,

tangy,

sensation of adolescence.

I have chased after my hopes and dreams