Calico Frost

What is it like

to have an equal

someone who is your other half of you

who you care for as much as you care for yourself, and more

who you would do anything for

who you would say

It's the fourth of July 

which usually means fun and excitement and cool parades to avoid when driving around 

but this year, 

this year is not a fun fourth of July 

I hate how everything is now

I hate how everyone watered my roots with their poison

how my strongest limbs have been sliced from my trunk

how the rich green of my leaves dulls to a mulchy brown as they fall

down

Looking at you two

as you "dance" on the "dance floor"

which is really just an empty spot on the ground

as you hold hands awkwardly

though enjoying it

as you experience feelings that I've never experienced before.

It's always the goodbyes that are hardest

especially when you've gotten so close

after years of distance

it's worst when you don't end up getting to spend the time you wanted to spend with them

Card

after card

after card

it keeps going

the stack endless

the family tree sprawling

stretching

growing

by the second.

I have to write it all down