Calico Frost

It's hard

It's really hard

When there are so many people to balance all the time

So many personalities

So many conversations

Overlapping

Talking over each other

So many big emotions

Today I woke up.

I stretched my arms,

brushed my teeth.

Just as I did every morning.

Except, something was different today.

I opened the foggy window

and took a look outside.

If I'm being honest,

I'm not sure I'll survive,

These demons,

I battle,

Fighting for my life.

They find me at my weakest,

Where no light shines through,

I think you make me really happy

I think it’s sort of all-consuming

I think I want to be with you every second

Of every day

I think maybe what keeps me up at night

Is replaying you

Replaying us

Remember the girl?

She’s in second grade,

Maybe

Blond brown curls

Blue green eyes.

She’s sitting on the top metal pole of the fence

Chipped green paint

A childhood obsession, sure.

That's how it started.

But it's all I am -

It's who I am -

It's the deepest

Truest

Version of myself I could possibly be.

The notebook.

Stats and tracking