mmae_ee

far away from my friends as they speak,

i never liked feeling alone. 

i never liked feeling left out.

but here i am, 

whenever i speak,

my words don't even go into one ear of any of my friends,

sometimes i lie,

i lie when i want to,

and when i don't want to.

most of the time i am forced to.

forced to lie so i can survive.

i think about lying as taking a cookie from a cookie jar as a kid,

when i was little,

i lived on a hill.

a grassy green hill on the outskirts of Vermont,

there was a bright red slide,

and two ferrets that i'd watch aimlessly all day,

without a care in the world.

it seems so far,

graduation,

walking down in a black tight dress,

one by one,

suits and ties,

flowing dresses and shining tiaras.

we're called up one by one by our full names,

i once knew a girl,

she was sweet and open to everyone about everything,

i was good friends with this girl,

say i knew her more than her parents did,

she had short auburn hair and pretty blue eyes,

its funny,

funny how you tell me to stay silent when all you do is speak.

i cry sometimes,

i cry sometimes to sleep,

because all i can think about is you.

and i'm not a big fan of you.