Posts
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Chasing Onwards
I chase this dream
With everything I have.
I want to be with it
Every step of the way.
From the moment I first touched it
To where my fingertips grazed actual possibility
To where my heart broke
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I Want
I want to live
Inside your head.
I want to be where
They can't hurt me.
I want to live where you are
I want to stay in the sunlight
I want to dance among the stars.
I want to live in your fantasy
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They Ask Me
The little kids
Ask for advice.
"What's middle school like? Seventh grade?"
They ask what to do and
Where to go and
What they should prepare for.
I could give them a list
Like my teachers gave me.
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Should've Written It In Pencil
I should've written it in pencil
I should've known it couldn't last.
Should've told it to a page in an in-between
Far from permanence.
I should've written it in erasable graphite
Should've whispered it to no one
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Resist It
I am begging you, resist it.
I promise that you can.
I know it's hard and challenging
But you know, you know she's banned.
She's off limits.
Don't play that game.
She's poisonous and dangerous.
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Crashing
There are so many things in this world.
So many things I could write about.
Love, frilly, pink, soft
Cloudy, foggy, angelic,
With jagged edges, the heartbreak that threatens your world,
Loves
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Enough
Constantly
all the time
I feel like crying
I've just had enough
enough of the girls accidentally hitting us with balls in P.E. class without them apologizing
enough of depressing experiences and losses;
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Thoughts
I lie awake in bed
With my thoughts -
No AC and it's hot and humid.
I open a window.
It doesn't help.
I can feel the ghost of you in my every movement.
The blankets you snuggled into,
Just last night.
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A pawprint in clay
All I have,
For everything.
A pawprint
In clay.
That's it.
Thousands of trinkets, toys, stuffies.
Folder upon folder of random junk.
Papers and pencils and packs of gum
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I'm here
I'm sorry
I won't say why
because we both know
and we're both handling it differently
but I'm here
I'll be here for a very long time
so if you need me
just tell me
okay?
I'm here for you.
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Suffocation
I fell
The ground didn't catch me, though
and I'm still falling
suffocating in my own sadness and grief
in shared sadness and grief, actually
except that it hit you harder
because you were closer to her
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Missing
I didn't even realize how old she was
and she's not even my cat
and I didn't know her all that well
but I'm still crying
because she's not going to be there anymore