I think the main thing is to keep yourself at a safe distance. That way, you won't get hurt as often, and it will be easier to protect yourself. Know your limits, and don't be afraid to tell your friend if they cross a boundary.
I'm sorry you're going through this, it sounds really tough :(
I don't have much advice since I've never been through a breakup, but I would suggest to try to cultivate/focus on friendships, since doing that has helped keep my mind off wanting a relationship. In the end, friendships are often healthier and longer-lasting than romantic relationships, and they can still be very special and beautiful, just without the stress that often comes with dating. It can be hard to find your "people" sometimes and I'm still doing that lol, but I feel like I'm slowly but steadily building a group of friends (mostly female) that I feel comfortable with and really connected to. If/when I do date someone and go through a breakup, it's nice to think that I will still have them to fall back on, and while I'm not in a relationship it's good to have other forms of connection.
Also--the person you were with seems to have treated you very unfairly, and you shouldn't internalize that/think you are "trouble". Sadly, she might just not have been emotionally able to give you what you wanted out of the relationship and were giving to her. It's hard to hear, but try your best to start moving on, or like you said no longer ruminate as much (it's actually one of my dad's personal policies not to ruminate lol! i think it's a good one!). And feel happy about the little things in life: a day when it's finally not as cold, a good meal, a good book, whatever gets you through each day, then week, then month, etc. Also, you're already doing this but continue expressing your emotions through writing! I often find it very cathartic and mind-clearing to sort my thoughts out on paper. Writing fiction can be a great way to escape, too.
I totally understand the missing the hand to hold part--every time I see a couple holding hands, I just feel so sad that I don't have that, and mad at myself for getting my hopes up over a guy who I now know has a girlfriend. I'm trying to stay positive and think that eventually I will have a relationship that's caring and supportive, but I'm also sort of pessimistic, because if I do start dating someone, how do I know it'll work out? It's complicated by the fact that I still haven't really moved on...the guy I liked has no idea and still wants to be my friend, and every time I see him it's like my brain forgets I can't like him anymore and starts searching for any hint I might still have a chance :(
Anyway, sorry for the rant at the end lol. I agree that being single doesn't have to be so bad!! We've both got this. And feel free to message me on ywp anytime!! <3
This poem is so good and is so heartbreakingly deep and full of emotion. I hope this all gets better and you realize there are people you can go to and it's okay to not be fine sometimes. You'll make it through, ik like everyone says that so it doesn't really count for much but all of that must be excruciating to go through. Hope it all gets better <3
Oh yeah I remember when I was younger my family would go skiing and staking all the time and we'd also build a snowman and I'd always want to go sledding
Not sure what happened to those days... I guess we all got busy and tired
We really should. I feel like a lot through the winter months people are less thankful because it's "gloomy" but, there is so much to be thankful for even then.
I think the main thing is to keep yourself at a safe distance. That way, you won't get hurt as often, and it will be easier to protect yourself. Know your limits, and don't be afraid to tell your friend if they cross a boundary.
I'm sorry you're going through this, it sounds really tough :(
I don't have much advice since I've never been through a breakup, but I would suggest to try to cultivate/focus on friendships, since doing that has helped keep my mind off wanting a relationship. In the end, friendships are often healthier and longer-lasting than romantic relationships, and they can still be very special and beautiful, just without the stress that often comes with dating. It can be hard to find your "people" sometimes and I'm still doing that lol, but I feel like I'm slowly but steadily building a group of friends (mostly female) that I feel comfortable with and really connected to. If/when I do date someone and go through a breakup, it's nice to think that I will still have them to fall back on, and while I'm not in a relationship it's good to have other forms of connection.
Also--the person you were with seems to have treated you very unfairly, and you shouldn't internalize that/think you are "trouble". Sadly, she might just not have been emotionally able to give you what you wanted out of the relationship and were giving to her. It's hard to hear, but try your best to start moving on, or like you said no longer ruminate as much (it's actually one of my dad's personal policies not to ruminate lol! i think it's a good one!). And feel happy about the little things in life: a day when it's finally not as cold, a good meal, a good book, whatever gets you through each day, then week, then month, etc. Also, you're already doing this but continue expressing your emotions through writing! I often find it very cathartic and mind-clearing to sort my thoughts out on paper. Writing fiction can be a great way to escape, too.
I totally understand the missing the hand to hold part--every time I see a couple holding hands, I just feel so sad that I don't have that, and mad at myself for getting my hopes up over a guy who I now know has a girlfriend. I'm trying to stay positive and think that eventually I will have a relationship that's caring and supportive, but I'm also sort of pessimistic, because if I do start dating someone, how do I know it'll work out? It's complicated by the fact that I still haven't really moved on...the guy I liked has no idea and still wants to be my friend, and every time I see him it's like my brain forgets I can't like him anymore and starts searching for any hint I might still have a chance :(
Anyway, sorry for the rant at the end lol. I agree that being single doesn't have to be so bad!! We've both got this. And feel free to message me on ywp anytime!! <3
This poem is so good and is so heartbreakingly deep and full of emotion. I hope this all gets better and you realize there are people you can go to and it's okay to not be fine sometimes. You'll make it through, ik like everyone says that so it doesn't really count for much but all of that must be excruciating to go through. Hope it all gets better <3
Thank you! Glad I could brighten your day a bit!
I had to read this so many times, it hits so well and so deep! Very relatable.
Thank you both so much omg!! :D
Thanks I appreciate it!
That hit on so many levels, I can really feel the descriptions in here
Amazing read!
Oh yeah I remember when I was younger my family would go skiing and staking all the time and we'd also build a snowman and I'd always want to go sledding
Not sure what happened to those days... I guess we all got busy and tired
We really should. I feel like a lot through the winter months people are less thankful because it's "gloomy" but, there is so much to be thankful for even then.