OH MY GOD I LOVE THE BOOK THIEF!! i completely forgot i'd even read that until right this very second and it was such a good read - definitely the best thing my English teacher ever recommended to me lol. i absolutely adore how it's written from death's perspective and the differing places it jumps across. suuuuuch a good read :D
i agree with Geri! having to listen to everybody's fully unfiltered thoughts at once would be genuinely terrifying. especially like adults - i'd prefer to stick to my own head than have to hear some random republican/homophobic/other bad things guy's thoughts! but if i could control it, it'd be pretty cool
it's super good!! I like the word usage and the vivid emotion beneath the words. I have 2 things for you: maybe try replacing the comma after "far duller" with a period - it'd make the sentences flow nicer and sound less run-on. also, the "Dread" at the end could hit a bit harder if it was un-italicized and lowercase. just my opinions, it's your poem and it's already good, you don't need to change it if you don't want to!
I like it a lot!! the line breaks are rly good and the verbage is well thought out. the use of dashes and ellipses could be fine-tuned a bit more - the dash after "only four more years" feels a bit too quick. other than that it's a super emotional and well written poem, nice job!
…wow. I feel this in my soul. I had a really stable friend group two years ago, but last year, that friend group kinda just split and fell apart. It became really toxic and it was really depressing, and no one cared or took anything seriously anymore. It made me so angry, because everyone claimed to “understand”, but no one actually did. Everyone was so distant and shallow. I hope you find your people soon!
I haven’t read We Were Liars, but I have read Everything, Everything. I also have mixed feelings about the ending. I feel like it is a good representation of what untreated mental health disorders can lead to, as well as trauma, but I have to admit, I was a bit disappointed in the ending, and the fact that the mom lied to her her whole life.
Great work! Very powerful imagery. Keep writing!
OH MY GOD I LOVE THE BOOK THIEF!! i completely forgot i'd even read that until right this very second and it was such a good read - definitely the best thing my English teacher ever recommended to me lol. i absolutely adore how it's written from death's perspective and the differing places it jumps across. suuuuuch a good read :D
i agree with Geri! having to listen to everybody's fully unfiltered thoughts at once would be genuinely terrifying. especially like adults - i'd prefer to stick to my own head than have to hear some random republican/homophobic/other bad things guy's thoughts! but if i could control it, it'd be pretty cool
it's super good!! I like the word usage and the vivid emotion beneath the words. I have 2 things for you: maybe try replacing the comma after "far duller" with a period - it'd make the sentences flow nicer and sound less run-on. also, the "Dread" at the end could hit a bit harder if it was un-italicized and lowercase. just my opinions, it's your poem and it's already good, you don't need to change it if you don't want to!
I like it a lot!! the line breaks are rly good and the verbage is well thought out. the use of dashes and ellipses could be fine-tuned a bit more - the dash after "only four more years" feels a bit too quick. other than that it's a super emotional and well written poem, nice job!
Thank you! Yeah it can be really hard, but I think I know what I want and where I'm headed...hopefully :)
Yeah, it can be tough. Thanks :)
…wow. I feel this in my soul. I had a really stable friend group two years ago, but last year, that friend group kinda just split and fell apart. It became really toxic and it was really depressing, and no one cared or took anything seriously anymore. It made me so angry, because everyone claimed to “understand”, but no one actually did. Everyone was so distant and shallow. I hope you find your people soon!
I can absolutely agree with this, I'm going through this but via a different angle
I haven’t read We Were Liars, but I have read Everything, Everything. I also have mixed feelings about the ending. I feel like it is a good representation of what untreated mental health disorders can lead to, as well as trauma, but I have to admit, I was a bit disappointed in the ending, and the fact that the mom lied to her her whole life.