Poetry

To be chosen. 
 

That's all I wish for — to be someone's first choice. 

I watch from afar, lost in a sea of the bittersweet feeling 

As others are always chosen first, but never me, 

i roll off from the table

landing in a box filled with hay

finally, i think

i’ve found my rightful place

then i look around

the strings of hay

entangling themselves 

i bend myself to fit them

a dream, swirling in my tired mind, a sequence of letters makes a word.

my brain aches, an onslaught of countless words and numbers.

Get up, grasp the dream, make it out.

Get up, identify it!

Get up!

Get up!

There should be a word

For ages thirteen through seventeen.

There should be a word

Like childhood or adulthood

That describes

Being a teenager.

Adolescence is one, yes

But it doesn't fit.

I don’t know.

I’m sorry.

I don’t know if I can do this.

I’m sorry. 

I don’t know if I can do this for much longer.

I’m sorry.

I don’t know if I can do this for much longer and I’ve been getting tired.

i wore brightly patterned pajama pants today

because it was blue-and-gray-go-wolves spirit week at school and

they fit the whole cartoonish hearts theme. you

wore black sweatpants and your favorite blink-182 shirt,

To love someone

Is to hand them your heart,

Engraved with scars,

Dripping with roots

Drenched in buds

Thrumming with the pulse

i googled what love meant today.

i don't think anyone loves me.

wikipedia said that 

i hate valentine's day:

i used to be a hopeless romantic

and maybe that's why i want to hide

in a corner, staying unnoticed. 

i love valentine's day:

i used to love chocolate box

Someday there’ll be holes in these walls

Where pictures of you once hung from thumbtacks 

And the little squares of wall they used to take up 

Will crumble and rot.

We made a bet when we were sixteen.

Actually, you were fifteen.

I knew I’d lose. I did it so you would continue to speak to me. I liked seeing you care about something healthy.

Is that okay to say?

Sometimes I worry that I will get treated differently because of my differences.

I know that it probably won't happen in school with teachers

but you can't stop kids from doing anything 

not in middle school