Poetry

Lying awake at midnight, watching as each blade of the fan spins around, one by one. My bed absorbs me as I think, "hey, maybe I should write something".

On the windowsill 

He sat, 

Staring at the sky, 

Writing words 

Known only in his head, 

Leaning against a reflection, 

Watching the moon, 

They told you to believe.

So you did. With all your heart.

And that heart betrayed you,

again and again,

so you beat it bloody

until it cowered

and you ran from it.

There are

So many things.

So many things

So many people

Want from me.

Is it too much to ask for a break?

Am I allowed to

Have a few seconds to myself or

Am I just a machine?

Is it weird if

I want to tell you I love you?

Is it weird that

I want to hold you

While I still can?

Is that weird?

Maybe it's

Just me being

Emotional

Or something.

Is it weird that

I don't believe in leaves in March

but here I am, showered full to bursting in May's nakedness

I didn't believe, but I knew the truth, they would come.

I rage,

I weep,

Raincoat like the petals of a sunflower hangs to her knees

Glittery rainbow headband

That only keeps half her hair back

Shiny pink nails

Strawberry boots

Shy smile that makes you feel lucky you got to see it

momma, 

you know, 

i was so pretty today.

i woke up on time

you didn’t say anything 

before you left

but,

my glasses were clean

my nails were painted, 

These days I sip 

on the light from the window. 

Sometimes the walls are dark, and they swallow 

it up, and there's none left to reach me 

I am not you, I am me

We are different

Sometimes I like the rain

Sometimes it makes me sad

lonely

You've always hated the rain

Sometimes I am angry and 

Sometimes I erupt like a shaken soda

The world goes distant.

I can feel myself

slipping

dissipating

into the words,

the worlds

that I bring life to.

Somehow I feel 

betrayed, 

I think

I might miss this.

I might miss your smile

And the way it feels when you laugh

And

How we could talk about anything.

I might miss

Those precious few minutes spent together

Every morning