Calico Frost

Your goal is to make me jealous.

To make everyone jealous.

Even your friends.

Friends? Or followers?

You're all leaders and not very good at it anyway,

And guess how that works out,

I lie awake in bed

With my thoughts -

No AC and it's hot and humid.

I open a window.

It doesn't help.

I can feel the ghost of you in my every movement.

The blankets you snuggled into,

Just last night.

All I have,

For everything.

A pawprint

In clay.

That's it.

Thousands of trinkets, toys, stuffies.

Folder upon folder of random junk.

Papers and pencils and packs of gum

You were there.

You were always there.

You were there for me

When I couldn't be there

For myself.

You took care of me.

You came running and jumping onto my bed

When I cried -

It's a choice, every day.

It's a choice to love someone

To reach out your hand

To open your heart

And it's a choice to keep loving them

Through thick and thin.

It's a choice to stop.

I feel completely

Lost

Alone

By

Myself here.

No company

Could fix this.

Drowning in my own emotion,

Melting in the not-yet-summer heat.

I can't think straight,

Can't be