Calico Frost

There's a lilac bush

or a tree

or a bush-tree

none of us can actually tell

and its name is Bob

or Barbara

or Bobara

none of us can decide

and it is a gender-fluid lilac bush/tree/bush-tree

The original three

the beginning, almost

of our bond.

In my backyard

reading books that we found

weird

gross

too informational

with comic strips

I can't believe it

I've never mentioned it for almost a year now

it turns out that I really can keep secrets for this long

from even myself

from the universe

from everyone else

from my confidants.

It’s over

they’ve left

their farewell party has ended

the streamers lying in crumpled heaps on the ground

the paper chains that had once hung on the walls have fallen,

Sentimentality

all the time

wishing to be younger

to be somewhere else.

I wish that I was in fourth grade again

and everyone was friends

and everyone was happy and content

I want to write about everything

the steady rain

the misery

the end of school

the upcoming event

the natural world

the current political universe of doom

but I can't phrase it