Posts
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Ticket
"Having a career isn't all that there is in life."
You think I don't know that?
I know it isn't.
But I also know
That this is my ticket into the real world
And I'm not going to blow it
For silly parties
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The way
The way we can laugh
The way we're so at ease
The way I can't stop looking at you
The way I can feel you
Next to me
Like I'd be happy wherever I can have this
The way we can grab each other's hands
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The Dark
I'm not scared of the dark
I don't trust it
I don't trust what it could reveal
I'm not scared of the dark
I'm scared of my mind
I'm scared of the games my brain plays
I'm not scared of the dark
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always
severus snape knew what always meant
he knew the weight of it
he understood it
"after all this time?"
"always."
always
something so powerful
with such weight
so profound
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Love
I love
Snowy stage band mornings
Dark and cold
Blowing in the door with some random trumpet player
Our conductor's coffee
Wet I-just-showered hair
Bedhead, the age-old oops-forgot-my-folder
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A thousand lifetimes
You offered me your hand
And I wonder
I wonder if there could ever be a time
A dimension
Where I wouldn't take it
A thousand lifetimes
A thousand universes
A thousand twisted tales
Loves
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If Only I Could Hug the Stars
If only I could hug
The stars;
Perhaps I could shatter them
And cup the shards
In my palms,
The cracks constellations
Aligning with my veins,
But that isn’t close enough
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The walls I built up
Every time you try to get close, I push you away...
Every time you ask if I'm alright I don't know what to say...
I'm always saying sorry even if it's not my fault...
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Drowning in the unknown
I am tormented by slight movements
even silence is hurting me
reality seems to be strobing
or something like it -
I've yet to learn how to explain these moments to others,
even myself.
It's not normal,
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Anticipation
This is the worst kind of anticipation
this anticipation isn't just fear of what is to come
it's laced around the edges with knowledge of how it went last time
of how a repeat of last year is most likely inevitable.
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fifteen
I am 15, a rising sophomore struggling mentally. Can’t motivate myself to do much, still dreading the first day of school. I often find the phrase “I can’t” pouring out of my mouth as I feel out of control, laying in my mom’s arms.
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the misery of love
every time you look at me
with your soft eyes,
tan skin,
and a nose you used to hate,
I mourn the loss of the love I once held for you.