Posts
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Who am I?
Sometimes I think
Of what my life would be without this
Without the conductor who changed my life
Without my duet partner who taught me how to perform
Without my instrument
Without the music
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This summer
I should be being
A teenager
Walking around
Biking the village with friends
Creemees
Candy
Joking
Laughing
Teasing
Farmers markets
Confessions
Crushes
Running around
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All the little things
All the little things
Add up
Matter
A lot to me
Everything
We met you
For the first time in years
You
All three of you
Are in college
Have lives
Away from us
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I wish
I wish I could be you.
Running to your room
Plugging your ears
Whenever there's a scary part of a movie
And coming back out in time
To see the happy ending -
Closing your eyes
Covering your face
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This man
This man
With a family who loves him
But can't help him
Because he needs to help himself first
This man
Drunk on hatred for himself
For this world
"Hopeless", they all say
With their eyes
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Grateful
I am grateful.
Grateful that three no-longer-kids,
Grown-up,Jobs-and-girlfriends-and-college boys
Are there for me
Have my back
Even though we haven’t talked for a while
Even though we live hours away
Loves
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Not Fun
It
was
terrifying.
Nothing more
nothing less
it could only be described as that.
I was shaking, actually
I don't know why I was so scared of doing this
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Maybe some day
Maybe some day
I will be as good
as the others.
Some day
I will be able
to look in the mirror
and feel pride.
Maybe some day
I will love myself
with no strings attached,
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Misfit Kid Summer
I look at the empty kiddie pool in my backyard
In the Midwest summer
My friends used to come to my house
So they could all get in it,
But they don’t like to swim much anymore
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Light in Lakes and Smiles
Lifejacket strung on the clothes line,
Still dripping with lakewater and smiles
From when I skied across the great
Puddle of light that sits in front of me now,
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Moving on is for chumps
Moving on is different for everyone, and eventually, you’ll never think of them again.
Is what I hear from everyone. -
Curl Cream
I have been told
To put curl cream in my hair
Upside down, eyes
Straining against the ceiling light,
Curls straining toward the tile floor,
Bunching.
I will smell