QueenBee

Every time I think I didn’t care

Every time I think you did nothing to me

But I can feel you

Creeping around who I’ve become

In my relationships

Beyond you -

I didn’t know how to do this,

Here, for the first time in years

With family I haven’t known

But still, family.

And I like it here.

The first vacation

I’ve actually enjoyed

So far away from my own home

Which usually I hate

I feel useless

Unproductive

No one needs me right now

Good

I have nothing to do

B o r e d o m.

I can't stop thinking about you

I assign myself tasks

Keeping me occupied

I'm not going to lie,

I don't care -

I never really did.

I didn't last year

And I still don't.

But.

It does give me that

Teeny

Tiny

Itty

Bitty

Little

Bit of

Sometimes you just can't.

The hardest part is accepting it,

At least for me.

Accepting that you won't be able to

Carry every load

Be every version of yourself

Always be the best

Meet every expectation.

My fingers know the way

When my mind does not

I will overthink it

And misstep

Hit the wrong key

Cringe

And try again

If I let my fingers take the reins

I think we’d have something