QueenBee

We sat on a bench,

Huddled beneath a blanket,

Cocooning,

Trying to trap body heat.

It was freezing -

First day of summer break at the beach with friends,

And we’re all cold.

We peeled off your name tag on your cubby.

We cleared it out. You took your stuff home.

It's empty now.

Lonely and sad and cold.

I hate it.

Your name is no longer there.

Everyone is pushing us into next year.

Pushing, pulling

All the time.

The eighth graders left yesterday.

I went to their graduation.

I tried to smile.

I cried a lot.

I have a lot of in between people.

The people I don't consider to be friends

But they're not my enemies, either.

The people I don't care about enough

To be awkward around

But also can't really goof off with

I realized recently

That there’s the family you don’t have a choice in -

Your biological parents, siblings, cousins -

And then there’s the family you do.

The family you share no blood with

But choose anyway.

We hung out under a tree

The day they all left

Lost and alone

In our own heads

Someone forgot their hoodie and came back

And I ran to them

Yelling their name

Tacklehugging them

Needing them back.