QueenBee

I thought

I'd be fine on my own this year

After being shown the ropes

But...

I didn't realize how much of a lifeline you were

Until I was stranded

Didn't realize I fell further and further down 

To be praised

To be wanted

To be called talented and know it's true

I am not full of myself

But I am nothing if not confident

Nothing if not sure

Absolutely positive

And I'm here again and I love it

Away from my friends

Away from my peers

My teachers

Here with doable expectations

The stage lights glinting off my glasses like melted candlelight

And it feels the same

But in the worst way possible

And I hate this 

More than I hated last year

At least last year

I cared

What I wouldn't give to care now

My salvation

The song.

Not supposed to at school

I do it anyway

How else can I think?

Not straight.

Walking on board

Dreading the chatter

Nonstop noise

Chaos

Hate it hate it hate it.

And it's all back

Full-fledged

Only it's... worse?

It's harder?

And I am completely "fine"

And "enjoying myself"

And "fitting in".

I take the homework home

And complete it within half an hour.