Sawyer Fell

It’s comparable to a genius fleeting thought
That wiggled its way into one ear 
Then out the other- then gets lost in the void 
Between what I ate for breakfast 
And if I took my medication.

She was always my favorite –

I’ve heard people say your first love is when
Your brain flings out of the stratosphere,
And you hallucinate hearts dancing around
Her body, singing a joyous tune in 

But it takes a moment to realize
Ultimately, it could have never happened.
The second I chose to hide away in
The bathroom late at night when I was 
Exhausted from having a 
Ripped to pieces personality- a

You are starting to learn the difference now.
Between delusion and misguided hope.
Delusion was believing being dismissive
Of a tortured body was a better gift
Than having to see where the handprints stayed.

I am fatally allergic to pollen-
But for you, my virulent flower, 
I will inhale each baneful minute scent.
I will adore every dwindling moment of it.
When you beckon I will return for the reminiscence

I may not be running out of time-
But I'm running out of shelf space
to keep all of these thoughts.
The weight limit has passed the last pound.
The memory of imagination can
go in the trash to be burned- can't it?