I feel the true dreariness of a rainy day inside as I read this. The drab image of someone staring out their window at people jogging, trying to stay dry, is especially strong.
Oo, I really love to see this kind of experimentation with form! Both the repetition and the list-making drive home the lines of your last stanza about the monotony of your days, all blurring together.
Such a soulful song to find inspiration from! The idea is woven so beautifully into your own "landslide"/descent, which is depicted in the most serene way.
The way your examples of yin and yang play off of each other is copacetic, your language powerful and descriptive! "An entity of blazing colors draped over each other," and, "Tickled with a broody nature," are such vivid lines.
I feel the true dreariness of a rainy day inside as I read this. The drab image of someone staring out their window at people jogging, trying to stay dry, is especially strong.
Oo, I really love to see this kind of experimentation with form! Both the repetition and the list-making drive home the lines of your last stanza about the monotony of your days, all blurring together.
Such a soulful song to find inspiration from! The idea is woven so beautifully into your own "landslide"/descent, which is depicted in the most serene way.
The way your examples of yin and yang play off of each other is copacetic, your language powerful and descriptive! "An entity of blazing colors draped over each other," and, "Tickled with a broody nature," are such vivid lines.
Thank you!
Thank you so much!
Thanks!
aw i'm so glad you thought so! thank you :)
The end is so surprising and abrupt and beautiful! The stanza of 'and in the shadows there is nothing' is truly breathtaking. Amazing job!
This is beautiful