Poetry

You two have entered my life at different times

yet you both mean the world to me

I dread separation -

the battle between boredom and loneliness cancels out everything else and I miss your everyday comments on the world

i am everything i was ever supposed to be

i am perfection embodied into a 

comprehensible human form. i sit poised, 

back perfectly straight as i overlook my domain

the life i curated for myself. everything is

Who is that girl?

The one who’s headed to boarding school in the fall

With the green eyes

And big smile

Who is that girl?

Who reads books like she’s starving and the words are big, juicy cheeseburgers

It’s being told about stars

You can’t see

Yet

And having a book taken away

Before you can finish

And then having the middle spoiled

But not the end.

It’s smiling into the sunshine

at the bottom of my bag is a book, 

lying there like a security blanket I'm afraid to touch. 

my seat feels cold as ice as I sit down in the room where not one pen or pencil is seen in sight, 

There is a sort of gentleness; a sort of beauty in the empty bottle of wine sitting on my dresser amongst more innocent things

I'll remember the dew drops.

The ones on the grass after

a particularly humid night.

I'll remember the golden sunlight

seeping into our kitchen window

in the morning.

It would catch the side of our faces,

america is a kindergartner with her hair in pigtails. her

eyes are bright blue & curious. she wants to know the answers

to everything and she can't understand why

no one will tell her.

I am jealous of books,

the stories that have been created from beautiful minds,

but they tear me apart inside.

I'm jealous of every broken character who finds their place,

their person,

their home,

Normal days,

tragic endings,

I was playing games,

you were seeing lights,

I was listening to background noise and music,

you were hearing sirens.

Glass breaking,

life shattering,

Love is a paradoxical thing. 

I want desperately to be loved. 

I want to wake up to a "good morning, my favorite person" text. 

I want the last thing I see at night to be a little red heart emoji. 

I want to tell you  I love you 

I love you and your smiles

Your voice even though I’m still learning your language

The way your hands hold things 

A basketball 

Your sisters hand