Poetry

Studying like my life depends on it

Prepping like my life depends on it

Driving like my life depends on it

my eyes open slowly.

my bedroom is full of sunlight, 

highlighting the hay yellow paint.

the comforter hugs me gently.

a day like most days.

My science teacher accused me

playfully and yet fiercely

of stealing an envelope

I had been threatening to peel the cover strip off of the sticky part

so it glues together

because it was just so tempting.

My life is like a lake,

All water and round,

So clear it is a mirror,

Or rather, a looking glass.

But when you look a little closer,

Dip your toes beneath the surface,

I haven't seen democracy since I was four years old, 

coloring with crayons outside the lines while a man on screen was coloring the map with too much red that the blue was overpowered. 

Greed overtook them

Only those in power shoot their guns in fear

Of the potential held in the palm of our hands

Delicate and rough fingers intertwined through every color to shoot back.

Bye Good,

I believe in America and I believe in who we could be

but I don't believe in who we are.

It's so easy to give up and let them reign.

I am.

I'm scared to stand up or say things and I haven't before,

and I won't.

If only I could stop doubting myself,

If only I could stop being afraid,

If only I could be happier instead of secret depression,

If only I could get better, and peace would stay,

I threw a needle at the mirror, the whole thing shattered,

leftover lipbalm sits in my pocket.

I would’ve never kissed you if I knew you were straight 

Am I disposable to you?
Did you get me thinking I'd be 20% off?
Did you get me thinking you could just find another, not caring if I'd be getting a good lover?
You think I'm disposable, discarded, trash.

Sometimes it feels like

there is a giant boulder

hanging above my head

which I constantly have to chip away at

to prevent it from crushing me

but, what if I rest too long

or can't chip fast enough

True love.

Love that's true.

Love you know

in your heart

is you and another person.

I guess I like to think I'm in love

I never really know.