Calico Frost

I can't believe it

I've never mentioned it for almost a year now

it turns out that I really can keep secrets for this long

from even myself

from the universe

from everyone else

from my confidants.

It’s over

they’ve left

their farewell party has ended

the streamers lying in crumpled heaps on the ground

the paper chains that had once hung on the walls have fallen,

Sentimentality

all the time

wishing to be younger

to be somewhere else.

I wish that I was in fourth grade again

and everyone was friends

and everyone was happy and content

I want to write about everything

the steady rain

the misery

the end of school

the upcoming event

the natural world

the current political universe of doom

but I can't phrase it

Constantly

all the time

I feel like crying

I've just had enough

enough of the girls accidentally hitting us with balls in P.E. class without them apologizing

enough of depressing experiences and losses;

I'm sorry

I won't say why

because we both know

and we're both handling it differently

but I'm here

I'll be here for a very long time

so if you need me

just tell me

okay?

I'm here for you.