Poetry

I pass by a man begging for savior,

and a woman dragging her child who's distracted by an elderly ladies puppy.

I watch as a business man late for a meeting I assume,

trips on the man asking for change.

If only I could hug

The stars;

Perhaps I could shatter them

And cup the shards

In my palms,

The cracks constellations

Aligning with my veins,

But that isn’t close enough

                                                        you

Every time you try to get close, I push you away... 

Every time you ask if I'm alright I don't know what to say... 

I'm always saying sorry even if it's not my fault... 

poison berries, so simple yet seductive,

Brambles beckoning like a throne beckons to

a Crown —sinking its thorns deep as if they grew

It's cold outside so I shiver.

It's hot inside, so I sweat.

I'm starting to freeze, starting to crack.

The words, the thoughts build up in my chest

Trying to climb up into my throat

But I won't let them

                                                          anyone

Do you remember that tall tree 

with the wide trunk and knotted roots? 

The one that stood alone in the middle 

of a wide field that seemed to stretch for miles?  

No? You don't? 

Noise

Warming up

Keys

Fingerings

Chatter

Laughter

The chorale

Stopping

Starting

"Again"

"I know you can do better than that"

Serious but

You also love it

Cornered

I put my hands up

Like you taught me

Only now

You're the one attacking

"Helping" because

You "just want me to feel better"

And I braced for impact

I am tormented by slight movements

even silence is hurting me

reality seems to be strobing

or something like it -

I've yet to learn how to explain these moments to others,

even myself.

It's not normal,

now I sit in the orchard

Apples, pears, and plums filter the sunlight

it shines through in thread-width rays

pure and packed with heat

unmeasurable in inches

unmeasurable in its own way