OverTheRainbow

we try to sleep in over break

because there's nothing left to do until December anyways

and it won't really work because dawn always opens my blinds

and their cat gets the zoomies at 6 but

i always feel pressured into

being grateful for the biggest things i can

which to me always sounds like i'm shouting for forgiveness

instead of gratitude. i never get to say i'm grateful

there are all the things I could do with three minutes alone in my room

I have an essay to write and Hebrew to study

I have things to look up and notifications to check

on november first we said

ohgodit'snovemberalreadywheredidallthetimego taking

up all the time in the world with our breath.

on november fifth we said

ohgodpleaseprotectushavemercyonoursins praying

This morning I woke up at six am. The country was bleeding pomegranate red and I, so sure we'd be drinking in a giddy paradise blue, stared blankly for minutes if not hours at the flashing computer screen.

sitting in bed close to 7 am waiting for the election tracker to light up. 

sitting in bed close to 8 am doomscrolling through election websites knowing it's all futile now.