Poetry

"I don't care," I say.

Don't care.

Don't.

Do not.

Don't want to.

Can't.

Scared to.

You look at me.

Ask, "What about your friends?"

Yes, what about them, self?

I was...what was I?

I was happy.

I was free.

I had such a rush of a year

That I forgot...everything else.

Full steam ahead

Days blurring

Like a train.

Plowing through.

I warned myself.

They are smiling,

Lips stretched up, with a slight crinkle of their eyes,

They are listening,

Nodding along, making hums of acknowledgement,

They are happy,

To you

you who lives among our rainbow hills--

green one moment

orange the next

and always blue in the distance--

you who lives along a river

you who lives looking into sunsets

you and you

I am a dying star
Don’t mourn me, I am quite far.

It was supposed to be a beautiful summer day,

sun shining, birds singing,

but instead of swimming in the lake or shooting archery on the range we are stuck inside 

You said

I seemed relaxed.

Not tense,

Like I feel,

Constantly.

Not curled up into a tight little ball

Against the world.

You said 

I seemed loose.

I don't feel loose

My love for you has no title 

My love for you is my own 

My love for you is something unique 

My love for you I wish I could've shown 

The war was over,

or maybe it hadn’t begun.

The sky hummed like a sweet lullaby,

and the fields grew wild with unbothered color.

Children ran barefoot through puddles

Tell me that I’m beautiful without telling me

Tell me that 

I make you smile

Tell me that

I’m smart

Tell me that

I make your day

Golden.

Glistening in the sunlight.

The smooth, metallic surface felt too fine to touch.

Like a perfectly formed apple, round and shiny

As small as a dollar coin.

Though it weighed much more than you’d think

Culmination.

Wrap-up.

Climax.

Soon to be the end.

The end of what felt like forever.

How do I tie up the ends of my life like this?

How do I say goodbye