QueenBee

I wasn’t

Sure.

Not one hundred percent.

I knew I wanted it

But I wasn’t prepared last time

We weren’t ready last time

I’m surprised I was ready this time.

But I was -

We were.

I am here to say this

in only facts

because I don't rely on feelings.

Fact:

Your Mr. Remarkable is quiet.

Cold.

Closed off.

Didn't interact unless

absolutely necessary

smiled maybe twice.

I would feel -

relaxed if I were

on an island by myself.

I could forget about

my life

forget about overdue math

and whether I'm behind or not

doing the right thing is always wrong

I like auditioning. I like it because it makes me feel special - I like the anticipation, walking in that room, and just getting to play what you've practiced. It's predictable. 

I've been here before

I know this feeling

the impending sense of

happening.

It's going to happen

it's inevitable

is this a mistake?

I will back off so fast if you tell me you don't want it.

I don't know you

I want to

but not yet.

I know you are more useful to me as a faraway rival

of extraordinary difficulty

than as a friend right now

I also know I won't have a choice next year.